Cool People like cheese

Weird Mood (Prayer to God)

I hate how I feel right now. I know it's all Satan's doing, he is picking and prodding at the things that make me weak and it sure is making me stumble. This flood of emotions is ridiculous, I know them so well yet I detest them. I know of God's faithfulness , his peace, his love, his joy, yet I can't help but run from him. So many times I feel like a failure, and I feel that many times Satan makes me feel like this, he knows the things that sets me off and knows the things I am not proud about or sensitive about. Today has been one of those days, stress has been constantly following me, I have been getting easily annoyed, and just feel like no one cares and being overly sensitive. I know that people care, it's just sometimes I don't feel that they do, I just wish that people would tell people more about how much they care for each other , because time is so limited. I think that's also what scares me, time. Not having enough of it, having too much to where you feel like your just lagging on. As I sat in Talitha's memorial service and people were speaking about how wonderful a girl she was and already at 16 had died but yet fulfilled God's purpose for her, I started to think how much more I should be doing, how much more I should be loving and serving, and I envied her for servant and pure and gentle heart that I yearn for. I want to change lives to make a difference, to love deeply to serve others , its just I get so discouraged because I am so fallen. And it doesn't help when satan whispers in my ear , that no one cares, your stupid, your not going to be as smart as your sisters, you work hard yet you get no where and all the things that make me weak and inferior. Satan makes me feel like I am inferior to everyone and that every word that comes out of my mouth is stupid, ridiculous and that I have nothing to offer people. Lord help me to see your truth and focus on what is right, true and noble. I really do need you everyday. Whoever if anyone reads this please pray that God would show me his love and his truth, that I would not feel alone or upset but comforted by his arms. Please fill my heart with your love and your grace, hold me in your arms, there is no love like yours in all the earth. Please let me not feel like I am a failure. I just try so hard in school and just feel like I am getting no where and I get so discouraged. I need your presence. I just see people who are so much smarter, and more talented and know what they want and I feel so low , so dirty because I work so hard at school and in track yet people who are naturally talented and slack off beat me. Lord help me to be faithful to you, not to turn from you because I am weary in need of you.

posted by Lesley @ 9:40 PM